CARLEY BEARDEN NEW RELEASE “GHOST” INTERVIEW
We went live with Carley Bearden and talked about the meaning behind her newest release “Ghost,” how she met her girlfriend, how to be comfortable in your own skin and how to OWN it as a woman in the industry.
Here’s a few Q&A’s:
THE HONEY: Tell us about your song Ghost.
CARLEY BEARDEN: “The meaning behind the song is basically… my friend was going through a really hard time with the guy she was talking to. She was so committed to him and he just kept ghosting her… and I was there to witness how they met and everything… So, really the song is about me being put in her shoes and being like ‘damn this is what you’re doing to me.’ The girl who the songs about, every time she hears it she gets teary-eyed… She told me ‘you kinda helped me understand how I was feeling by putting yourself in my shoes and telling my story better than I did.’
The first time I played this song was the first time I played with a live band… I was on the ground singing because I was so in my feels imaging myself in her position watching me that I wanted to put on a show. This song hits so close to home because everyone has been through something like this whether it’s a relationship or a parent or friend…. and the feeling is the same; it sucks ass. It goes to show you can be with someone for three weeks and your heart is just completely broken for months, years…. I had to write about it.”
THE HONEY: How did you and your girlfriend meet?
CARLEY BEARDEN: “So basically, here’s what happened: Jasmine is in a sorority which is girly and my type is girly sorority girls and I thought she was super cute…. like super cute. She was private on Instagram but I sent that follow…. I’m kinda ballsy dude, I just go for it….
She dates me because I’m me… you know what I’m saying. I didn’t know if she was bi, gay, straight, whatever and we just became friends. Then we went out for boba one day and then we hung out the next day and the next day…. She had never been with a girl before and she didn’t know what her sorority was going to think or her family… I’m telling her story and she’s sitting right there but it’s accurate. I came in and I was scared for her because I didn’t want people to be mean to her because I had already been through that and was like ‘oh no.’ But, her sorority sisters obviously knew because I was at the house like 24/7 and they were fine with it and her best friends were fine with it and it took her family a minute to get use to it, just like it took mine a minute to get used to it… It’s funny because we said it’s like a movie because she’s never been with a girl before and she’s never experienced anything other than what she knew prior but I just saw how pure she was and I just couldn’t not….. so yeah I slid in her DM’s.”
THE HONEY: We want to talk about what it’s like being a female in the music industry… what has it been like for you?
CARLEY BEARDEN: “Being a woman in the music industry… a lot of us are looked at as badasses especially when we do make the music that’s doing really well, we have those fans and we’re really grinding… It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or girl; if you see someone grinding with what they love to do then you’re going to respect that…. but as being a part of LGBTQ as a woman in the music industry, I have to be really careful with the people I allow in my life in the industry around me, my girlfriend and my friends. One time I had a guy I met on LinkedIn.. he said ‘I would love to work with you under one circumstance,’ and I was like ‘OK what,’ and he was like ‘just don’t post any pictures below your neck on instagram.’ This was on the phone… and I’m like ‘what do you mean’ and he was like ‘well you’re super dude-ish and people don’t like that…’ and I hung up on him. People will try to change you in the industry if you’re a woman… a lot more… People try to change you and pressure you and make these uncomfortable comments but with me that doesn’t fly. Even if I lose a really big opportunity, I don’t care because don’t make comments like that, don’t say things like that. Luckily, the guys in the music industry who I am around are so warm and so kind and they’re family. I’m so lucky. For a lot of women who are in the industry who didn’t get so lucky, they want it so bad that they will do what it takes and it sucks because it’s still happening. If you know me and you know my girl and my friends and the people I’m around, you know not to do anything stupid.”
THE HONEY: “Someone on our Q&A asked how to become comfortable in your own skin….I think that a lot of being comfortable in your own skin comes with what you surround yourself with and the people in your life… so, how have the relationships in your life affected you as a person and being comfortable in your own skin?”
CARLEY BEARDEN: “So, I’m obviously gay… I came out when I was 16 years old and I’m from a small town and everybody knows each other and all the parents know each other. You had to have this perfect image at my high school, like a lot of high schools. I was always in the girly popular groups; like I just wanted to be in it. During that time, I met some of my best friends; some that I played sports with and others that I knew in middle school and wasn’t close to then but changed as we grew up… some of them were already open to bi-sexual/gay and it always crossed my mind. I always had these feelings like ‘I don’t know if I like guys the way I look at a girl.’ I didn’t know how I felt. I was so scared and I didn’t know if people were going to hate me… and it hit me senior year. I was out of the closet for two years; I was like I’m quitting everything I know right now. I walked up to my friend group and was like “i’m out, i’m gay by the way,’ and I put myself in art and choir and theater and I went into all these classes with people who were known as the “nobodies” or the people that weren’t as known as I was or my friends… and I hated it because I walked in the room and they knew who I was. They knew me and I didn’t know them and it sucked; it was a punch in the face. I spent all these years trying to be popular and trying to fit in when really the realest, coolest people I’ve ever met are in these art classes and no one has heard of these people but they’re so genuine and real… and that’s when I started dressing differently, acting differently… I started hanging with Averi Burk more and this is when Averi was younger so we both were out but we weren’t, but we were. I started pushing myself toward people of the arts and Averi pushed me to do music and everything changed for me. I would go home and I would be like ‘mom I want to start dressing differently; I feel comfortable in this…’ For a long time it was hard for my mom and for my family in general because they were so used to me having the cutest boyfriends and doing this and wearing dresses… and after a while, they saw how confident I was and they saw that I wasn’t afraid or ashamed. I was afraid of not fully carrying out with my choices and fully be myself. So, luckily, the people around me saw ‘Carley is confident and she’s wearing a hoodie and flat-bill and last week she was wearing a dress and had a boyfriend.’ They were like ‘what’s going on with her- let’s get into this.’ So, I made a lot of REAL friends. My family saw how happy I was and how I was alone a lot of the time and I had God and I had Averi and my friend group carried me. I never had a time where I was afraid to be who I am; I kinda just jumped right into it and I think that’s the best thing to do… and if your situation is bad at home… it’s heartbreaking… but you have to understand you are not your parents and you are not the people who are against you. You are you.There is only one you on this earth so, why not be you? You are not promised tomorrow so what’s the point? Do what you want and be proud; Do it wisely and be happy and be so engraved in being yourself that people feed off of your energy. That’s what I focused on the rest of high school and through college. Even if you are not LGBTQ, people are really afraid to be themselves. I went through a hard time with my family and my parents but here I am today and I am so happy.”
Find the full interview on IGTV on Instagram here.